Geralt of The United Parcel Service
I work as a security guard at a sports arena where I also handle package deliveries for events. A UPS driver comes by twice a day. This morning, while helping him unload the boxes, I heard him humming something. When I heard the tune sharply fly up an octave, I recognized it as the tune from Skellige.
"Have you rescued Ciri yet?" I asked. He smiled.
"I've been assembing my allies at Kaer Morhan," he replied. "Soon…Here, you gotta sign for this." I signed for it.
I scrambled my mind for something witty to say back, but just ended with "Good luck UPS guy. You'll need it." He tipped his hat before climbing back into the driver seat.
"Va Fail, security dude."