Regretting the past, is there still hope?
Disclaimer: This will be long so bear with me here.
When I was in high school someone really close to me passed away with cancer. This incident made a huge impact on my life and I started to struggle with all the emotions I had built up inside of me. My parents do not believe much in grief counseling, and I didn't know that such service even exists for students. I was on the edge of failing high school, but something in me motivated me to try my hardest so I can graduate. I took community college courses, adult school courses, extra classes after school to make up for the units I had lost due to bunking school and just strolling through random streets doing nothing. After High school, I attended the local community college and worked at night as a security guard. I barely got 3-4 hours of sleep everyday, but I was able to transfer to a university after 2 years in community college with 3 Associate degrees. While in college I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life so I decided to pursue economics because it was the only thing that made sense to me. At university I struggled a lot and barely passed my courses with Cs and Bs, but somehow managed to graduate with a B.S degree in Applied Economics. After graduating I was able to find contract work with a big food and beverage company through an agency. However, after about 8 months, the company decided to only keep contractors for a year, which freaked me out. I started to look for new opportunities and got an interview with a big oil company (another contract position). Now the pay was good, but the company was really far away from where I live, and the office staff wasn't the best. I was miserable with the commute and the people who always disrespected me because I was just a contractor and not an employee of the company. After about a month I decided to look for another job and got lucky enough to land an interview with a small wine company which is located really close to my current residence. I started working for this wine company, the staff was great, the pay was decent. It was another contract position, but they said they will hire me after the probation period. While I was there, I was given lots of projects to work on and I worked extremely hard to finish those projects well before their due dates (sometimes even without getting paid for the extra hours). After about two months when I completed one of the biggest projects, my boss called me into her office and gave me my two weeks of notice. Her reasoning was that my excel skills aren't that great even though I completed the project in excel. Another supervisor said they are bringing in someone else from within the company to take my position. So I am still not sure to this day why exactly I was fired. With a deep sigh and positive attitude I accepted my fate and left that company two weeks later. However, I felt like they have taken advantage of me and only hired me to complete the project that no one in the company wanted to take into their hands. After that I decided not to apply anywhere for awhile and started looking into CPA licensing. I went back to community college, got another Associate degree in Accounting and now I am eligible to take the exam. It has been a year since I was fired from my job. I passively looked for work, but didn't have much luck. Now I am going to take my first CPA exam, and hopefully pass. But looking back at my most recent position in the wine company, my self-confidence really took a hit. I tried my best, yet it was not enough for them to keep me. I have been running on my savings accounts and sleeping on my parents couch. I am not sure how and where life will take me, but sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice by leaving the oil company which later led to me being fired from the next company. I try not to dwell in the past, but I feel like one of the reasons most companies now are hesitant to hire me is because I have short duration for the companies I worked for in the past. Should I take the short-time work experience out? I am hoping to take all the CPA exams by end of this year, but I was hoping to land a job while doing so, because the exams are quite expensive. At the moment I feel really lost and worthless because I haven't been able to achieve much after graduating. I really appreciate any input/advice you may have for me. Thank you.