TEAM TRUMP

The guy in charge is a reality show host who got famous by pretending to be rich. He's on his 3rd wife and has 5 kids who refer to each other as step-bother & step-sister except for the 3 from the first marriage who resemble the sales team from a shady funeral home.

He recently settled a $25,000,000.00 class action fraud lawsuit filed against him and his phony get-rich-quick real estate investment school that was sold like some kind of fucking time-share in Boca. He hates Muslims, Mexicans, NATO and paying his fucking bills. He refuses to make his income tax returns public because he doesn't want people to know just how many Russian mobsters he has up his ass.

His fucking daughter acts like she's his wife, when she's not lining her Coach Soho bag with bundles of money made off of impoverished children who make her shitty shoes and who she pays in buckets of lead-based paint. The clenched-teeth smile and the unBELIEVABLE level of self-absorption make her perfect for the fucking dildo she married. This fucking guy is apparently interested in becoming a billionaire by losing hundreds of millions at a time and hedging his losses by borrowing against his Deutsche Bank Commercial Line of access to his father-in-law. Both of them might be Russian operatives.

The 2 other sons are Moron #1 & Moron #2 from Midnight Run only not quite as savvy. One rips off money from kids with cancer under the shell of his phony foundation while the other one seems to be the main line of communication with the Kremlin, and deals in international espionage and money laundering. They both enjoy shooting large animals and were probably pissed off because they weren't the ones who got to kill Cecil the Lion.

His current wife doesn't even try to hide the fact that she married him for money, which he may or may not have, and he makes no secret of the fact that he married her because she's gorgeous. They spend very little time together as he spends most of his free time playing golf, hanging with his daughterwife, and taking selfies with hot blondes in Florida.

His second in command is a former talk show host from Indiana whose main role in life seems to be settling his own inner conflicts by attacking homosexuals, bisexuals, and anybody else who doesn't treat their libido like it's the necessary reproductive instinct installed by God & Jesus at the procreation factory. He claims to be religious but seems intent on making sure a lot of people die of some hideous illness because they couldn't afford health insurance.

His Secretary of State wavers between outright disgust and simple tolerance and the only reason he's still on the job is he's making contacts with people who will line his pockets.. if we can find any room in there what with all the EXXON loot.

His main key adviser, aside from his daughterwife, is a fucking Nazi from Breitbart whose stated goal is the dismantling of the Federal Government as we've come to know it, and who dreams of a police state so we can deal with the anarchy that ensues after the dismantling of the Federal Government as we've come to know it.

His Secretary of Education is a fucking imbecile who thinks we should have armed guards in public schools to protect children from bear attacks and who seems to think ketchup is a vegetable.

His Secretary of the Interior wants to frack on Mount Rushmore and run a gondola from the South Rim down to the Colorado River to ferry patrons to the Grand Canyon Resort & Casino.

His guy at Energy is a fucking dumbass who wanted the Dept of Energy eliminated 4 years ago and who gets conned by 17 year old phone pranksters into thinking he's talking to the King of Ukrainia for 20 minutes.

His Secretary of Housing and Urban Development thinks Biblical Joseph built the pyramids to store grain, and has literally no experience in either housing, or urban development.

His man at EPA thinks climate change is a myth and thinks the whole "carcinogens & pathogens in our water supply" business is much ado about nothing as he encourages DOW to discharge as much of their fluorescent green nastiness into our rivers & streams as they deem necessary.

His Health & Human Services chief is in favor of people dying if it will save money.

His Attorney General wants to bring back the war on drugs by throwing people in jail for marijuana so it will help out his buddies in the prison industrial complex, and he is also Russian spy …as was the first National Security Adviser who appears to now be in the witness protection program.

His team of shitheads who deal with the media is a fucking clown show by itself, and that was before he fired Anthony Scaramucci after he called the Chief of Staff a fucking paranoid schizophrenic and said the key adviser/Nazi from Britbart is too busy sucking his own dick. One hired head after another step up to the microphone and lie like it's the only way to communicate. From Spicey, to Conway, the Lewandowski, to Huckabee-Sanders, to Scaramucci, to Gorka, to Omarosa… and every other sycophant without an official title. The man has surrounded himself with ass-kissing imbeciles.

The Chief of Staff was a fucking bustout loser from Wisconsin who couldn't even win a stinking Congressional election in that state and yet somehow wound up as the head of the Republican National Committee. He went from trying to organize opposition to campaign Trump to chief apologist in the blink of an eye. A spineless hagfish who got what he deserved, even if it did come at the hands of Scaramucci.

Now here's John Kelly as the new Chief of Staff. Don't expect Trump to call this guy into the Oval to kill a fly like he did Priebus. I'm sure Kelly is just what was needed to right the ship. Smooth sailing from here on out. A steadying influence and someone who can speak frankly and tell Trump bad news from time to time.

Until Trump fires him for telling the truth about the shitshow.

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