TIFU by upsetting the EU parliament security forces

This fuck up happened three years ago.

The backstory is that i had arrived in Brussels a few days prior and assiduously tried to enter the parliament at various hours of the day, during rain and sunshine and morning and evening. I'm a political scientist and really just wanted to feel the atmosphere of a powerful building and one of the political process-making institutions of Europe.

Since i tried to enter, unsuccessfully, for a few days, the "front door" security guard and i had had a few friendly chats a few times. anyhow, the problem was that i was pre-occupied and due to circumstances it took me a while to realize the procedures of entering this building. You needed an invitation from an mp. I had barely no money, or a phone or internet, so i couldn't get in touch with an mp to get this invitation, until i finally borrowed a phone from a random person at a cafe and got an invitation for like 20 minutes from now with the pirate party. usually you have to get these kinds of invitations weeks or months in advance, but i got lucky and i happily joined the pp on a tour of the building. it started with some boring general knowledge lectures and then the group of 40-something people moved on to another part of the building, when i decided to split-off from the group and go on my marry way and explore the parliament building.

I had lived like a hobo for a few days in brussels so i carried with me like one carrier bag and a big black plastic bag filled with various miscellaneous items.

I had my visitors pass attached to my jacket, which was the ticket to get inside. In the entrance to the parliament it was a huge queue and two desks after each other looking kind of like a inverted U shape. on the left side of the entrance there are some official signs telling you how to enter the the inner sanctum of the building. it said something like wait here for two minutes, then go thru to the check-in. so i circumvent the queues follow these weird rules, just flash my passport at the check-in and unceremoniously dump my bag and sack at the entrance behind a counter and start exploring. I walk around, looking at some history and information and generally enjoy myself.

After a while i get curios and decides to move away from the general area where people are allowed and start exploring different floors and small windy corridors. i walk happily up to the seventh floor, talk to some random mps or civil servents or the like, find a closet filled with wine and booze, no i did not steal any of that, just thought it was fun that it was so clearly out in the open, and finally decide that it's time to start heading out, i have explored what i wanted to explore. On the way back to what i assume was the general area where visitors where allowed to fraternize, suddenly, two securiy guards approach me. They are of quite a massive stature. And they look quite impressive in their quite fancy jackets. I can imagine them having kept an eye on this person walking at weird places and leaving big bags unattended at the check-in, and wondering, what is he doing. Anyhow, they start questioning me while walking regarding where my bags is and what im doing here and so forth. i happily show them to the entrance to my bags and tell them i'm just here sightseeing. After we collect my bags they take me to the back of the building, where i get quite a surprise. I get placed against a pillar, sorrounded in a half-circle by a combined 30 security-forces, police and some kind of secret services, at least three distinctive groups of security personnel. First we just stand there for a while, then two police officers take me two a wall and searches me. I get some more questions about what i was doing there and i answer truthfully that i was just interested in the history of the institution etc. Where the police where searching me there was an L shaped desk where some civil servants worked. After a while a random lady who works behind the desk out of the blue greets be my name in my native tounge and wonders if all is ok, i say it is. The main door security guard also ask me some questions. They want to contact one of me nexter kin, and i was on the outs with my mother at the moment, so i referred them to my grand-mother who barely speaks english. the main-door security guard is trying to have the conversation, but his english is not that good and he mispronounces some words quite badly.

Anyhow, after being in the catacombs or there a likes for a while, i get escorted by three police officers to a police car and we drive away to custody where I stay for anything between 6 hours and 12 hours. I don't remember not very long at least.

tl:dr Walked akwardly in the parliament. Got caught in half-circle by 30 security guards. Got in-house famous in the parliament.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: