To my fellow infantrymen…and POG women. This is the definition of Infantryman.
Underwear is entirely optional at all times -You have shit in the same bag you ate from. -You put that bag into your Ruck next to your sleeping bag. -You've shit in a hole more than a porta potty -Every time you shit, you tell everyone everything about it. -You go on missions with your fly undone so you can piss while pulling security. -You have no problem running 5 miles ……………………drunk. -You have no problem maxing a PT Test drunk. -You have no problems doing a 12-mile foot march drunk. -You have no problems but drinking problems, and you don't think it's a problem at all. -You would fight for a guy you barely know, as long as he's an Infantryman. -You'd fight your best friend, even though he's an Infantryman. -Monday morning formation should be taped and sent in to the Howard Stern Show. -You know someone who has done the following: 1. Pissed themselves, shit themselves, puked on themselves, and in turn did all of the above on other people, and loved it 2. Killed a terrorist, and loved it 3. Killed a case in between COB and last light, and loved it. 4. Ran a few miles on a broken something, and loved it. -You know that work is work and play is play. -You pride yourself on getting dirtier than any POG, but looking prettier at the same time. -You know heroes. -You know heroes that don't care if they are heroes. -Your buddies know all of your business, tell all of your business, but when the shit gets hot, its always time to handle some goddamn business. -You wince when a POG handles his weapon like a POG. -You know POG dudes hate you because POG chicks love you. -You realize you are one of the hardest motherfuckers in the country, and that's just before anyone else gets out of bed. -You got stopped in the airport by some fat security guard on the way home from OIF or OEF because your uniform had bomb residue, blood, or powder burns on it, and they treated you like a terrorist because of it. -You say Roger when Roger could mean a really bad day. -You say Roger because you welcome a bad day. -You would bleed on the flag so the stripes stay red. -You can fall asleep absolutely ANYWHERE. -You hear Kuwait, you automatically get the shits, -You hear Iraq/Afghanistan, you say, fuck it dude, Round Two, Three, Four, whatever. -You are the sore-footed, camo-faced; sun burnt, dirty, tired hungry sons-of-a-bitches that have fought so long to keep the wolf at the gate. You know this and you don't care if anyone else knows this. -You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world, and damn proud of it. -I'll drink to that. If you're a chick, do your best to go fuck an Infantryman, ask anyone, it's the best you'll ever have. – If your trying to read the word "Infantryman" as two words, you'll never understand any of the above
“Paratroopers are about the most peculiar breed of human beings I have ever witnessed. They treat their service as if it were some kind of cult, plastering their emblem on almost everything they own, making themselves up to look like insane fanatics with haircuts to ungentlemanly lengths, worshiping their units almost as if they were a God, and making weird animal noises like a band of savages. They’ll fight like rabid dogs at the drop of a hat just for the sake of a little action, and are the cockiest sons of bitches I have ever known. Most have the foulest mouths and drink well beyond man’s normal limits, but their high spirits and sense of brotherhood set them apart and, generally speaking, the United States Paratroopers I’ve come in contact with are the most professional soldiers and the finest men I have ever had the pleasure to meet.” – Author Unknown