The tale of my final day in retail.

As my last tale seemed to be enjoyed I will share with you the story of my final shift in the world of retail.

I was manning the customer service desk and feeling pretty chipper as it was my final shift, I had a shiny new job awaiting me where I wouldn't have to deal with the Great British Public and I was going from a job where I had been paid monthly to one where I would be paid weekly so would be being paid twice for the first month. All pretty sweet.

Cue man who is about to change my day. You've all dealt with the type, more (homemade) tattoos than teeth. He has a small cylinder vacuum cleaner in a bag. It's broken, he wants a refund. Receipt? Nah, he doesn't want a receipt, he just wants a refund, isn't he funny?

This vacuum looks, in a word, knackered. It also looks to be made by one of our competitors looking at the nice big brand logo on it so I refuse the refund. He informs me that this is unacceptable to him and slams it down on the desk. At this point I press the security buzzer. The gentleman then asks me why I felt I needed security when he hasn't threatened me…yet.

Security arrive and call a manager and I'm escorted from the desk to the back office. I only have the word of the security guard for what happened next but I believe that he invited the manager to "go outside and settle it like men" at which point he was escorted from the premises but wouldn't leave the car park until "that bitch" had left because he was going to "fuck her up". After that Management decide to just pay me for the rest of my shift and I get a police escort home.

I do no miss working in retail.


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