Comparing the Bucks to Things: Star Trek: The Next Generation Edition
Please bear with me, Bucks fans. It's a rainy Saturday morning here in Utah, so prime time for shit posting. Therefore, I have decided it's the appropriate time to compare the members of the Bucks roster to the cast members of one of the greatest shows of all time, Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Giannis Antetokounmpo is Q: Q is omnipotent, all knowing, all powerful, just like the Greek Freak. Q has no regard for human life, and Giannis plays with no regard for human life. Easy.
Jabari Parker is Commander William Riker: Bold, headstrong, emotional, kind of cocky, but ultimately his influence is invaluable. One could also argue that they both look better with a beard.
Khris Middleton is Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Criminally undervalued. Those bitches always took Geordi for granted; how the hell are you going to run a ship without your chief engineer? Likewise, Khris comes back and all of a sudden the defense is a well-oiled machine (I don't want to hear your noise about defensive rating, people.) As an aside, do you think a visor would improve Khris's court vision?
Malcolm Brogdon is Lt. Commander Data: Cool, calm, and collected. Data cannot feel emotions; the President keeps them off the court. Like Data, Brogdon came into this world fully formed, as ready for the NBA as Data was for Starfleet. The masses underestimate their strength, but people that know, well, they know better. Does Brogdon have a fondness for cats?
Greg Monroe is Lt. Worf: Worf is the head of security and Monroe is our enforcer. Both know the importance of honor and duty, but sometimes act without thinking.
Thon Maker is Counselor Deanna Troi: Both are captivatingly exotic and speak with an accent that you can't quite place. They're both the type to be underestimated, with hidden super powers that help them more than words can say.
Roy Hibbert is Lt. Tasha Yar: Legendary despite their short time in service.
Joe Prunty is Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Picard is sexy. Prunty is sexy. Both of their last names start with P. That's all I've got.
Jason Kidd is Wesley Crusher: Look, we all know Wesley was smart, but the only reason he got on the bridge before going to the Academy is because of who he knew. Likewise, Jason Kidd should have worked his way up from assistant coach, but that whole being a Hall of Fame point guard thing got him in the captain's chair right away. But like Wesley, Kidd is maturing. We should be grateful.
Jason Terry is Guinan: Guinan is one of the oldest beings in the universe; JET is one of the oldest guys in the NBA. Both bring wisdom that you're not really going to get anywhere else. How would Terry look in one of those hats?
Mirza Teletovic is Dr. Beverly Crusher: I always had high hopes for the character of Dr. Crusher. She always seemed like a character that could bring more if given a chance, but was often inexplicably relegated to the background. Then they'd air one of those Crusher heavy episodes and I'd realize why her character is the way it is. Same with Mirza. Don't @ me.
Matthew Dellavedova is Dr. Katherine Pulaski: Kind of fun, kind of sassy, but ultimately annoying. Pulaski was only on for one season, and we probably only need a year of Delly. (But we probably won't be so lucky.)
Tony Snell is Chief Miles O'Brien: Hard working, reliable, understated. Neither are going to blow you away, but they're there when you need them. Will Tony Snell have an unexpectedly hot wife in the future?
Spencer Hawes is Lt. Reginald Barclay: Seems like a nice enough guy, but you know there's something a little off with him. Hopefully Hawes won't ever pull some shenanigans in the holodeck and try to take over the team.
Gary Payton II is Alyssa Ogawa: We don't really know much about either, but they seem nice.
Michael Beasley is Lwaxana Troi: Both are the lovable eccentrics of the cast. I guess this makes Beasley Thon's mother.
John Henson is Mr. Homn: Both are tall, skinny guys with flat asses that do best with a small role. Would Henson be any good as a manservant?