More details about what happened
I posted several months ago about my older son and his daughter having problems with his ex (her mother), but was afraid to go into too much detail because, well… my son's ex's mother is batshit crazy. It's been a few months, everything has been settled and a thread on bad parenting made me think about this, so I typed it all out and figured I'd share it here:
My older son's ex lost custody – for the second time – of my granddaughter, because she chooses to live with a guy who tested positive for marijuana, heroin, and meth, and who she has made allegations in the past that he has sexually assaulted her and beaten her.
When she got her FIRST weekend visitation, after only being allowed supervised visitation, she and her mother made false allegations against my 13 year old son, saying that he sexually molested his niece (who was four at the time). Now, she got her on a Friday evening, and claims that she discovered this on Saturday morning, but didn't report it until Sunday afternoon, when she was supposed to be getting ready to return their daughter to my son, who was the custodial parent. Her reason? They had a birthday party that weekend and had family coming in, so they didn't want to ruin the party.
When it was time for the return, she refused, stating that she was taking the child to the hospital for a rape kit examination. When both Child Protective Services in our state and in her state told her that she was to return the child to the father, she hung up on them and refused to answer her phone. After three hours of trying to find out where she was taking her, because she claimed she was taking her to a children's hospital two hours away from her home, and over an hour past the time that the return was supposed to happen, we located her at a hospital ten minutes from her house. When my son told her he was coming so that he could be there, too, she told security at the hospital that he threatened her, so that they called him and told him he'd be arrested if he showed up there. She also had someone pretend to be the state police and call him and tell him that they had turned over custody to the mother. My son was devastated and terrified for his daughter – there was a REASON her mother lost custody of her and the violent, druggie boyfriend was living with her.
He was turning around to come back home (two hour drive to her location) when Child Protective Services in her state called him and told him that if he didn't get there, they would place his daughter in foster care. That's when he learned that the guy who called him wasn't really a state trooper. (Turns out it was a security guard at the hospital who she lied to and manipulated). Worst thing? His ex KNEW that their daughter would be placed in foster care if he didn't come get her – she KNEW that she wasn't allowed to keep her. Her reasoning? If she couldn't have custody of their daughter, she didn't want him to, either. She'd rather her four year old daughter be placed in foster care than be in the father's custody.
This is also the same "mother" who tried to convince doctors and Child Protective Services to force an INTERNAL genital exam on the child… AFTER she'd already had two external examinations and a forensic evaluation that proved there was no sexual abuse occurring.
Not long after, the ex's mother sent out letters (signed by both ex and mother) to all the local newspapers and television stations stating that my son was allowing his brother to rape his daughter and doing nothing about it (naming names) and that she was just this poor, single mother doing her best to graduate college and she had never been in any trouble at all, but that Child Protective Services stole her daughter from her "for no reason at all" and gave the child to her vindictive, cruel ex who was allowing her to be victimized and traumatized. We looked into libel/slander lawsuit, but it simply wasn't worth the $$$ to pursue it (and had very little profit).