Need legal advice involving my mental health while incarcerated

So I apologize in advance because this will probably be quite long. So back in June of last year, a day after totalling my car I walked to the bar. When I got there my ex fiance of 8 years was there, we had a REALLY bad breakup 6 months prior, and a few mutual friends. I was already upset because of the car and the friends that were there were the ones who had been ignoring me for some reason. So angry and depressed I turned to alcohol. ( I have had a long problem with alcohol and at the time I was two months sober, since an owi). I then sent some texts to the ex saying things along the lines of her not waking up… A short time later I broke into my ex fiance's house because I was depressed, suicidal and had been drinking and wasnt thinking clearly. I did have a knife and BB gun but the intent was never to hurt her, my thinking was never to hurt her but rather death by cop. I was only in the house for roughly 5 minutes. I never kept her there or stopped her from leaving. I didn't even interrupt her when she called the police. Basically we talked a short time, she called the police, and I left. When I tried to leave she stood in the door, preventing me from leaving, so I pushed her out of the way and left. They said I hurt her but there was never any pictures or medical documents supporting that claim. Some things to note about this however. I never had any legal or criminal charges ever, especially anything violent, with the exception of the owi about 2 months prior. I was a service member in the national guard at the time. This would make my third suicide attempt that year. Everyone was surprised that this happened and basically it wasn't me. It was someone who was extremely depressed and drunk, going through an extremely distraught time. So fast forward to end of November and I ended up taking a plea deal which charged me with battery and false imprisonment. It involves 9 months jail time and 4 years probation. When I took the plea my lawyer promised me I was at least eligible for the county's electronic monitoring program. Two weeks later I found out I was never even eligible for the program and my unit with the national guard was deploying. I started serving my jail time about 3 weeks ago. This week I talked to a lawyer about appealing my case but he said even going as fast as he could it wouldn't be until middle of summer that he could maybe get me out. So basically it comes down to this. Either I find a way to change something or I will be dead by the end of the month. I cannot handle being incarcerated knowing all I did was scare my ex. Knowing that all I've wanted for 4 years was to deploy with my unit and now that they are I'm getting kicked out( not because they wanted to but because they had to do to my felony charge.) Everyday I have to sit any think about all this bullshit. I do get Huber privileges so I get out to work, where I'm writing this now, but the job i have is a seasonal job and will be ending soon. I worked at a maximum security prison for roughly two years a while back so I know what happens if you admit to having suicidal thoughts so I refuse to talk to staff there. And after working corrections I also refuse to talk to anyone there unless I have to. I am at the end of my rope. Yes I have a plan but it involved having to buy something off Amazon so I've got a few days before that gets here. I know there will be comments saying I just have to get through this and that things will be get better. Thank you but honestly I'm tired of hearing that. I know things would probably get better at some point but I'm done sitting in jail. I'm done suffering for nothing. I'm not the kind of person who can just lay in bed all day, I hate it. I don't want to end it, there are things I still want to do but like I said I'm done with jail. Thank you guys for your time. Edit: I live in Baraboo, Wisconsin

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: