The past just won’t leave me alone.
I recently departed the service honorably but some days I feel my biggest regret was joining. So many bad memories creep up on me at random times throughout the day. Memories that make me angry, or extremely depressed in an instant. Mid service I got on antidepressants – another regret. Like I got on them thinking they could help, and whether they actually did is debatable I still feel bad most days, and before y'all say "ask to be put on different ones" I tried. Trust me, I've tried, and I've tried several times to ask to be taken off altogether. I go see the doctor tomorrow to talk about getting off them again, this is the first time since I've been out I'll ask about it. Honestly, let's say they do help cuz 90% of the time I'm content (which I say is because I'm out now). It's the 10% I'm scared of. Sorry for the long post, just today has been a lot of random memories at random times, nothing I can do makes them go away it's almost like being married then divorced, it never really goes away, later in life you'll fill out forms "were you previously married? If yes dates? Spouses social security number?" With the army I get calls at least once a month "hey wanna join the guard or reserves?" No I didn't want to when I departed the service I don't want to now.