My Nominations for Trump’s Cabinet

A little backstory before I get too deep into this: I couldn't sleep last night and so I did some reddit reading and caught up on what our President-Elect has been up to. After seeing his nominations, I drafted a list of who I believe are just as qualified (if not more) as those currently nominated.

( a fun visual to follow along with)

My Cabinet Nominations, in no particular order, are as follows:

  • Secretary of Defense-Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Qualifications: Military and defense background (GI Joe, Fast n furious, The Tooth Fairy, etc)

  • Secretary of the Treasury- Scrooge McDuck. Qualifications: has and knows money and I assume they're friends.

  • Attorney General- Sam Waterston. Qualifications: Experienced lawyer and eyebrow aficionado

  • Chief Legal Aid- Charley Kelly. Qualifications: Bird Law Expert.

  • Secretary of Commerce- A Child Who Runs a Lemonade Stand During the Summer. Qualifications: Ran said stand for a profit last 3 Summers.

  • Secretary of Labor- A Prenatal Nurse. Qualifications: Knows labor well and shows that men and women are equal in the labor force.

  • Secretary of Education- My Mom. Qualifications: She teaches kindergarten.

  • Secretary of Health and Human Services- Dr. Gregory House. Qualifications: Good at health care. Good with humans.

  • Secretary of State- Anthony Bourdain. Qualifications: Traveled the world so he's practically already done this.

  • Secretary of Homeland Security- A Security guard from the set of Showtime's Homeland. Qualifications: Homeland Security. Boom.

  • Director of National Intelligence- Ken Jennings. Qualifications: Renowned Jeopardy Champion so he knows the best words too.

  • Secretary of Energy- the Energizer Bunny. Qualifications: Uses reusable energy to keep going and going and going…

  • Chief of Staff- Guy Fieri. Qualifications: Trump's already said he doesn't need/want to attend meetings or briefings to receive information and he's probably used to craft services so a Chef of Staff makes more sense.

  • Secretary of Housing and Urban Development-Jimmy McMillan. Qualifications: Head of the Rent Is too Damn High party and is black, fulfilling both components of his title in the eyes of the President, I believe.

  • Secretary of Transportation- Tom Hanks. Qualifications: has driven cars, trains, planes, boats, etc. and traveled great distances by foot.

  • Secretary of Interior (Design)-Martha Stewart. Qualifications: years of experience, has many a publications in the field, and adds another female voice to ignore. (Was possible choice for Sec. of Commerce but after the whole insider trading thing…I decided Lemonade kid was less risky.)

  • Secretary of Agriculture-Snoop Dogg. Qualifications: expertise in plants.

  • Secretary of Veterans Affairs- Mark Wahlberg. Qualifications: He was the Lone Survivor and he will Transform the VA so everyone is feeling those Good Vibrations. (Unlike the Other Guys).

  • Surgeon General- Dr. Dre Qualifications: Has a Doctorate of sorts. (Heard Snoop was coming and asked if he could join)

  • National Security Advisors- Liam Neeson and Nick Cage. Qualifications: experienced in protecting our nation, our citizens, and our national treasures.

(Not pictured)

  • White House Press Secretary- Marshawn Lynch. Primary objective: Fill in for The President in all press conferences required briefings and press conferences. He is only there so they won't get fined.

I hope Congress and Pres-Elect Trump will take my nominations seriously.


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