Well there was one time with ballgowns and assassins

Hello again r/DnDGreentext! You may remember me from That time with Demon ladies and Rainbows #ShamlessPlug

Well I'm back with another one of our tales, the ballroom plot.

Again, same people

Shaman Mom (not actually mom) (SH): Human Merciful Cleric

Shifty Shaman (SS): Doppleganger Investigator

Old Shaman (OS): Samsaran Theurge(Shaman/Wizard)

Turlug (Me): Half Orc Pugilist Barbarian (grappler)

due to non-exciting tomfoolery, we found out king gonna get deaded at the Festival of the Fjord (independence day for fantasy Norway)

Of course

so we tell king that we're gonna be his secret service, and told his secret service as well


Prep is made, saferoom hastily constructed, still nigh impenetrable like the goddess of virginity

night of the event, off the bat an assassin is caught, dumbass tried to walk through security dressed as a guard.

lel our arcane marks stopped that, cantrips FTW

we don't know how many are going to try, so staying vigilant

nearing end of night, speech time bby


Investigator in meantime has been invetigatin'

assassin found

multiple found

shit like 10

due to our prep, magical transport is cut (1 bullet in foot)

we sealed most of the walls and formed spoofed doors for confusion, only 1 way out (2 bullets in foot)

thank god we have that rune trap to stun anyone who approaches the king… and its gone… we didn't disguise it… (welp we'll just empty the whole clip in there huh)

intelligent people commune for planning

Turlug is not communing

Turlug do, not talk

Approach king

"I need you do the following"

King: "Am I in da.."

"Do it"

King: "Kay"

"Tuck your arms"


"Clench your knees together"


"Squat slightly"


I now show off my shiny new toy from 11th level……. hammertossing bitches




King flies to the hallway, gentle landings, cause of catfall boots we gave him (and thats a bullet dislodged from my foot)

Guards first to react, they've seen some shit apparently

Assassins second, begin chase

Doors lock before they even reach the doorframe

People started running for the door… 10 of them


Mop up assassins

Last gets cocky

"Hah, we're like time, you only experienced 11 of us"

Samsaran knows time stuff


OS: "There's another!"

Us, horrified, begin burning every resource imaginable, including literal burning, to get to where the king is

Find at last

His men slaughtered, only the king remains

Turlug wins initiative

Doot Dooooo Doot we won the assassin game


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